Boundaries: The way we teach the world how to treat us. The behaviors we hold others to.

A boundary is a behavior or way of being that you hold ‘others’
to, in relation to you. It is about other people’s actions, again in relation
directly to you. Crossed boundaries are generally times/behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, drain you or zap your energy. Strong boundaries keep abusive, needy, or non-nourishing people at a reasonable distance from you so that you are not drained and can spend your time feeling more joy and less stress on a daily basis. I also extend the word boundary to the way we treat ourselves. If we don’t treat ourselves well, it is much harder to create boundaries with others.

Personal : We violate personal boundaries by overindulging in food and drink,  overextending ourselves financially, and by feeling obligated to do things that really don’t give us joy ( I call this “shoulding” on ourselves).

Family: Family violates our boundaries in a whole different way – obligations, emotionally, time traps, financially and sometimes even physically.

Friends/Peers: obligations, time traps, emotionally 

1)     JUST SAY NO – sounds simple doesn’t it? This is the hardest one for most people.

2)     If it doesn’t bring you JOY or stresses you out, don’t do it- this is challenging at first, but will
get easier.

3)     Make a list of 10 ways people violate your boundaries, and what you might do to create boundaries with that person. Awareness is the first step. You can also take this a step further and list 10 ways that you violate other people’s boundaries